I worked feverishly until late that day on the letter I intended
to send to the congregation of the church where the state’s attorney had been
seen frequently on Sunday mornings during the previous campaign season. By the time I was finished with the final
draft, I had decided that I wouldn’t limit the recipients of the words I had
written to only the church where the state’s attorney found spiritual guidance
and constituent support on the weekly basis.
I began to address envelopes to all of the churches in the phone books I
had access to. The area I intended to
cover was most of southern Illinois and parts of neighboring Indiana.
My wife was
visibly satisfied with my progress throughout the day following Bull’s phone call. I ate as often as she delivered food to
me. She asked very few questions about
the project I was engaged in, but kept a watchful eye on my progress from just
over my shoulder at the computer desk in our home. I was pleasantly surprised when she corrected
several spelling errors in my letter and stated, “Bull’s lucky to have a friend
like you,” before turning around to leave me alone at the computer.
“I’m lucky to
have a friend like him. I should be sitting in there with him
right now.” My words fell into the
empty space of the dark room.
When I finished
the letter it read as follows:
Fellow Friends in Christ,
The story of drug addiction is all too common
a tale in our area. The effects that
prolonged, untreated addiction to drugs like methamphetamine are devastating to
say the least. I am writing to your congregation
today to request prayers and spiritual support for my friend, Bull
Gunville. Bull’s story is definitely not
unique, although I feel that with the promise of God’s grace and unending love
that Bull’s story can be unique in that it does not have to end tragically, as so
many others have.
Bull has lived all of his life in rural
southern Illinois. He is a father to six
wonderful children and extraordinarily loved by all of them. Bull’s life has been challenging with regards
to his education, although he is unfathomably gifted in so many fields of
knowledge. Fields of knowledge which
have taken a normal person many years of schooling and experience to become
remotely close to the talents he exhibits.
Bull’s struggle with education ended for him after attempting and failing
to pass the seventh grade several times. School teachers at the time claimed he
suffered from a learning disability that they were unable to diagnose. He was immediately withdrawn from school and
put to work by his father on the family farm, working on equipment, vehicles,
and the practicing the rudimentary arts of physical and mechanical labor. It wasn’t long before he began experimenting
with drugs and alcohol, and travelling down a dangerous road heading towards
what could possibly be his eventual demise.
As the years passed, Bull’s struggle with drugs
led him into more and more trouble.
Having spent time in the Department of Corrections on several occasions,
his opportunities to find gainful employment became less and less, as many
employers view the struggling, recovering addict as a high risk to their
businesses, and not worth the opportunity.
After a prolonged battle with DCFS to regain the right to be a parent to
three of his six children following an incarceration for manufacturing
methamphetamine, Bull recovered custody of the children from his second marriage. He humbly started the slow process of
reclaiming whatever semblance of a normal life that he could in the wake of his
troubled years prior. He was greeted at
every interview and job application with slim prospects of rejoining the
workforce. This was devastating to him,
as he had a wife and three children at home, and three others from a previous
marriage waiting on support checks from him.
With his children hungry at home, and the law breathing down his neck
for back support on the children from his first marriage, Bull continuously
fought the urge to revert again to using and dealing drugs. This was a fight which he eventually began to
lose.
In the meantime, Bull’s marriage fell apart
and his father passed away suddenly.
Bull was very close with his father, and since the seventh grade had
relied upon his father’s assistance and guidance through all of the challenges
that life had presented him. His
father’s unexpected death left his estate without a will, which again presented
Bull with a challenge, as his father owned a great deal of land, scrap iron,
cars, tools, and an extensive gun collection which were now up for grabs among
the bickering factions of his family. Bull was one of two rightful heirs to his
father’s estate. Bull was rarely
considered by his family during this time… their dismissal of him only adding
to the frustration and confusion he was dealing with in the fledgling state of
the grieving process. He immediately
began to close himself off to his family in order to protect what he could of
his father’s legacy, and the only things he had to keep his father fresh in his
memory. He never allowed himself the
time to grieve his father’s death appropriately, and began utilizing drugs
again, as a coping mechanism for his repressed feelings of grief and
disappointment in his family’s sudden alienation of him.
Throughout Bull’s years of drug addiction and periods
of incarceration, the one thing that had never been offered to him by
prosecutors and correctional facilities was rehabilitation and the ability to
relearn positive alternatives to troubling situations like he was trying to
manage on his own. I am now working with
Bull as closely as I can to try and find a rehabilitation and correctional
program that will finally allow him to fully come into his own without the
anchor of drug addiction holding him down.
His current law problems could possibly mean that Bull will spend the
better part of the rest of his life behind bars.
Without the prayers, spiritual support, and
promise of Gods undying love and forgiveness, I’m afraid that Bull will miss
all of the most important parts of his children’s lives. I’m afraid that without the guidance and
prayers of people with experience in drug addiction and those who are suffering
from a great spiritual void, that Bull’s talents will forever go unnoticed and
his potential as a human being will be forever lost to the Department of
Corrections. I feel he is truly in need
of some sign of hope, and the ability to see the spark of God’s love to prove
once and for all that there is a point to this existence, and a bright,
overwhelming light at the end of what has been a long, dark and dismal tunnel
for him. I implore all of you to pray
for my friend Bull, and keep him in your thoughts during this, his darkest
hour.
There are programs available to people like Bull. Many of these programs have yielded great
results in the most hopeless cases of addiction. Although he has expressed a legitimate
interest in rehabilitating himself, the states attorney in Littleton County has
grimly informed him that his fate is sealed:
She intends to prosecute him to the fullest extent that the law will
allow, hoping for a lengthy stay with the Department of Corrections without the
opportunity for the drug rehabilitation he desperately needs. This has confused Bull, as he is now asking
for help with his struggles, and it appears as though he is powerless to alter
his fate. I am at a loss to help him by
myself, and find fleeting solace by praying alone at night for God to guide my
actions and discover the optimal outcome in this situation.
I am requesting your prayers and support in
this matter. I am requesting spiritual
guidance for my friend, Bull Gunville. I
am truly at a loss in this matter, and my heart breaks to believe there is
nothing more I can do to help him.
Please find it in your hearts and minds to pray for compassion and God’s
will to be found in this troubling matter.
I thank you in advance for anything you find
it appropriate to act upon.
I was pleased with my efforts. As I sat silently at the
computer desk folding letters and addressing envelopes, my thoughts
began to return to the offer Rhonda had made earlier to come get me high.
This work is the intellectual property of Jerome J. Panozzo
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